Love Yourself Like Your Neighbor: Embrace Self-Compassion
Be honest—are you often too mean to yourself?
When a teary-eyed friend comes to you, do you soothe her or use the harsh voice in your head? So why can’t you treat yourself the same way?
There could be many reasons: demanding parents, a competitive school, or being taught that harshness drives success. Let’s keep it simple and call it a bad habit.
Being mean to yourself doesn’t help—it’s inner conflict that drains vital energy you could use to tackle problems directly.
You can accept any mistake without that harsh voice (imagine a loving mother gently telling her two-year-old not to scribble on the walls). Without self-inflicted mental stress, you handle life more effectively.
Have you ever attacked yourself for not being kind enough to someone—like your mom—because Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”?
But when you attack yourself, you’re not loving yourself. You need to care for yourself before engaging the world. An empty cup can’t fill others; in a flight emergency, you put on your mask first.
That’s why I say love yourself like your neighbor. It’s not selfish. If you love everyone except yourself, the love isn’t complete. Heaven is incomplete without you—you’re God’s lovely creation, just like your brothers.
And here are three steps to apply self-compassion:
Accept your current state. Notice the attacking voice and negative feelings. Let them wash over you.
Know you’re not alone—suffering, whether from yourself or others, is part of common humanity.
Place your palm on your chest, breathe deeply, and speak as if an angel loves you unconditionally: “It’s okay, this will pass, you’ll be fine. I love you. Don’t worry.”
Send yourself loving-kindness. When you feel it, you’ll know you deserve love—because you are love.