The Way to Heal Your Emotional Pain Is to Experience It, Not Bypass It

This is the harsh truth most people avoid: the path through emotional pain is to go into it

When you resist pain by suppressing it into your unconscious, it festers. You may suffer physical ailments like headaches or back pain without knowing why. Conversely, when you observe pain with a welcoming attitude, its energy dissipates gradually.

Suffering = pain × resistance
Healing = pain × acceptance

I’m sorry to say, but spirituality can’t eliminate all life’s pain.

No matter how many times you chant “OM,” you can’t stop your dog from dying—the seed of pain remains. However, spirituality can help you suffer more effectively. By this, I mean two things: first, mindfulness reduces suffering; second, suffering becomes a purification process.

After each graceful suffering session, you build stronger character and clear suppressed emotional debris from your psyche. This allows intrinsic joy to shine forth, becoming more accessible in daily life.

In the event of your dog’s death, the temple comes to you.

Like a warrior facing a challenger, you don’t run away. You stare into the pain’s eyes, ready to engage. You don’t bypass it by slumping on the couch watching Netflix, nor do you recite sutras to distract from the feeling.

When the piercing chill of painful emotions hits your naked skin, you let it be, trusting there’s enough warmth in your heart’s hearth to carry you through.

Ask yourself: Where are the physical sensations of this emotional pain in my body? A lump in the throat, tightness in the stomach, or weakness in the arms? Locate it, then sit with it, without trying to change it—no pushing, no pulling.

If there’s a mantra, it is: Be with this; this too is passing…